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Welcome

Another page without any anime related stuff but just as amusing. So take your time and take a look at what Lukia and I have collected.
Latest additions: What a Breath!, Don't Brush them on ME!, Destiny and Fortune Hunting. [6/6/08]

A Famous Judge

One time a judge in a city was troubled by pick pockets and made public the following announcement:

It takes very clever men to pick pockets. This cleverness should not be checked but should be made legal. Will all the pick pockets assemble at the courthouse to have their work legalized. Flattered and unsuspection, many pick pockets assembled, and the judge anddressed them as follows: "You are clever men, for you can support yourselves by picking pockets. Other people think you are evil, but I admire you, so I shall give you a license permitting you to steal."

The pick pockets yelled, "Thank you!"

The judge continued, but you must always keep your license with you; if you fail to do so, the penalty is death."

"That is alright." They answered.

The judge then commanded, "Stand in line and take your licenses."
When the men lined up, each was given a bright red cap and a large board on which was written in big red letters, "Allow me to pick your pockets."
They were astonished but could do nothing but recieve their licences. It was not long before pick pockets disappeared from the city.

Chopstick Etiquette

The keypoint is that rather than moving both of them, the chopstick that is in the lower position is kept in a fixed position while the upper one is moved to grasp the food. The ring finger holds the lower chopstick in place, the thumb lightly supports both, and the index finger controls and moves the upper chopsticks with proficiency. In the proper way of holding chopsticks, one is able to use them with ease; it is even possible to pick up a single sesame seed.

Incorrect ways of using Chopsticks:

  1. Clutched chopsticks: Grapsing the chopsticks with the palm of the hand. This is not merely childish behavior grasping a pair of chopsticks may be taken as a menacing move.
  2. Piercing chopsticks: Piercing the food with one or both chopsticks in order to pick it up.
  3. Scooping Chopsticks: Placing the chopsticks against each other and using them like a spoon.
  4. Cramming Chopsticks: Using chopsticks to push back food that is already in the mouth.
  5. Licked Chopsticks: Licking off food that is clinging to the chopsticks.
  6. Crying Chopsticks: Allowing the soup to drip like tears from the tips of the chopsticks.
  7. Racking Chopsticks: Placing the mouth on the edge of the plate or bowl and using the chopsticks to rake in food.
  8. Chewed Chopsticks: Bitting the tips of the chopsticks.
  9. Dragging Chopsticks: Chopsticks to pull or pick up a plate or bowl.
  10. Hesitating Chopsticks: Moving the chopsticks back and forth indecisively over various dishes of food.
  11. Roving Chopsticks: Applies to two situations: eating a bite of one dish then immediately eating a bite of another; or continually eating only non-rice dishes. The refined diner alternates a bite of a non-rice dish with a bite of rice or sip of sake.
  12. Probing Chopsticks: Touching of food with the chopstick without eating it considered distrust toward the provider of the food.

These are only some of the dos and the don'ts for chopsticks. It is said that table manners begin with chopsticks and end with chopsticks.

Short Scenes
Below are some short scenes to read about and be amused.

I asked her first!

Scene: The Courtroom
Characters: The judge, the prosecutting attorney, the lawyer, and the beautiful blonde witness

The lawyer had the blonde in the witness chair
Lawyer: I want you to tell this court. Where you were on monday night?
Blonde: Dancing
Lawyer: And where were you Tuesday night?
Blonde: Dancing
Lawyer: And where were you Wednesday night?
Blonde: Dancing
Lawyer: And what are you going tomorrow night?
Prosecuting Attorney: Your honor, I object!
Judge: Why, that seems to be a reasonable question. Why do you object?
Prosecuting Attorney: Because... I asked her first!

What a Breath!

Scene: Two friends talking
Characters: Friend #1 and Friend #2

Friend #1: You know, I found out something the other day.
Friend #2: What's that.
Friend #1: Well, I've been studying statistics, you know...
Friend #2: Yes, I know.
Friend #1: And I have just discovered something that amazed me. Nobody ever told me this before...
Friend #2: Well, What is it?
Friend #1: It's that everytime I breathe, somebody dies.
Friend #2: Good Heavens, Man! That's awful!
Friend #1: It certainly is.
Friend #2: All I want to know is... Why don't you use good mouthwash?

Don't Brush them on ME!

Scene: The Psychiatrist's Office
Characters: The Psychiatrist and the patient

Psychiatrist: Let's see... Last week we were talking about your past.
Patient: Yes, I think we were.
Psychiatrist: How much sleep do you get a night?
Patient: Oh, I can't complain. From about 6-9 hours.
Psychiatrist: Well, that seems pretty normal. I'm beginning to wonder what we are going to find wrong with you. You seem to be just as sane as I am.
Patient: (Horrified) But, Doctor, It's these crawling bugs. I can't stand them! They're all over me. (Starts brushing arms wildly)
Psychiatrist: (Recoiling) Well, for goodness sakes... Don't brush'em on me!

Fortunes
Below are two ways to find out your fortunes. Remember that these are just for fun. Don't take them seriously.

Destiny

A girls's destiny may be settled according to which three pans she puts her finger in when she is blindfolded. The pans are shifted so that she cannot tell their loactions.

Pan with Soapy Water= Early Widow
pan with Clear Water= Happy Marriage
Pan with Empty Dish= Independent Spinster

Fortune Hunting

Items Needed: A ring, a piece of money, and a thimble.
These items are hidden in different places in the room where guest are to be entertained. In this game the player who finds the ring will be married first and live happily ever after. The one who finds the money will have wealth. And the one who finds the thimble will live unmarried to the end of his or her life.

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